Woah woah woah post woah woah woah trade!

The lovely J.J. re did our sidebar and it looks gorgeous doesn’t it? The only thing is, it tells me exactly when my last post was. July?!?! Sweet Swede on a meatball! What a terrible, terrible blogger I am. I should go to the blogger penalty box for a 10 minute major or something. Do I need to make a sacrifice to the blogger gods? I do apologize, my lovelies. Just know that I still really do love you. I love you madly. Starting in September I’m going to blog so much you’ll be sick of me.

Anywaysssss, we have actual honest to goodness hockey news! All the other GMs are sitting back on their fishing boats, maybe lighting a smoke, daydreaming about ice girls, and Gillis is being a stone cold monster trading/signing P.I.M.P. I mean come on will someone just get this man a pimp cane already? Maybe a nice jacket? Some gold chains? The Canucks pick up Christian Ehrhoff and Brad Lukowich from the Sharks and gave up Daniel Rahimi and Patty White. I was probably the only person in Vancouver that was still pulling for Patty White and I hate losing Swedes, but I think the Canucks “won” this trade. Ehrhoff and Lukowich both played for the Sharks last year and Rahimi and White weren’t going to make the big boy team. The Canucks now have a German and another BC boy. YAY!

As if the trade wasn’t sexy enough, Gillis also signed Mathieu Schneider. Now, he’s kind of ancient. But apparantly he totes loves Vancouver and will amp up the power play with his offensive skills. I actually really kind of dig the possible offensive loveliness that could come from our defence next season. Now there are SOOOO many defencemen Gillis can hold a too many defencemen SEXY PARTAYYYY!!!1 Gillis loves the same things I do! I hope I get an invitation in the mail. I’ll bring the tang. The only little hiccup now is that the Canucks are over the cap kind of significantly. I don’t want to lose one of my fave buttons to a trade. Le sighhhh.

What else do I need to catch you darlings up on? As J.J. mentioned in a previous post, the Canucks will play 15 games in their third sweater. The third sweater is my absolute favourite logo so I’m just delighted. Next sweater I buy will defs be the third. And it’s time to committ to a new Canucks player, which brings me to my next point. After extensive research and deep contemplation, I’ve picked Shane O’Brien as my brand new Canucks boyfren. OWWWW OWWWW OWWWW! Congratulations Shane bay-bee! You can look forward to totally ridiculous cooing over your game, possibly embarrassing nick names, and fierce loyalty. I was close to bitchslapping my own sister for insulting Matty Ohlund once. It was a tough race. Kes, Bieksa, and Edler were all really close. I adore Shane O’Hunky(heh) because

1) I loooove watching him fight and he takes care of his teammates
2) He’s usually a fun interview and always seems to be smiling
3) Some random person sent me a picture on facebook a long time ago of Shane busting a move in a VELVET BLAZER. I mean, swoon, right? I can never resist a well dressed man. ESPECIALLY a well dressed man that can dance.
4) Hardly anyone actually owns his sweater. I love having a guy’s sweater that not everyone in Vancouver has. It was one of (the many) reasons I adore Matty Ohlund so.

There was one last thing I wanted to finish with…oh right! Lui’s contract extension deadline set as Sept 13. Oh myyyyyyy. I know I’ve bitched on here about him occasionally being a princess, but deep down my love for St.Lou knows no bounds. It’s limitless. It’s the size of Texas. It’s the size of my shopping bag at the new Sephora in Vancouver. It’s as big as a giraffe. Uhhhhhh where was I? Right…His extra rad saves give me a funny feeling inside. When this sexy contract extension is finalized, I will probably dance through the streets of Vancouver in just my Canucks sweater and a bottle of vodka and a poutine in each hand.

An ode to ze new Canucks boyfren in blingee form:


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8 Responses

  1. Your ma says:

    Bitchslap your sister? Not terribly fraternal but we’ve all been tempted…!

  2. Your ma says:

    Bitchslap your sister? Not terribly fraternal but we’ve all been tempted…!

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