Nov 042009
 

I love

Let’s start with Ryan freakin Kesler. With all due respect to our godly goalie, this guy really should be Captain. I mean DAYMMMMN! Did you see him last night? He’s carrying this team on his back to use a total sports cliche. Gosh, when did I go all John Maddeny? Right now Kes is the highest scoring American born player. Owwww owwww owwwww!

Rick “Mermaid” Rypien. I know I declared my undying love for Shane baybee O’Brien to replace my dear Matty Ohlund as Canucks boyfren this year. And I still adore Shane, I do. His efforts to stick up for his teammates and his fists of fury make my heart beat faster. But lately the little bite sized Mermaid has been entrancing me more and more. He’s a physical one and the fact that he destroys guys many inches and pounds heavier than he is, well, it DELIGHTS me so. Add in the fact that he apparantly has HANDS and can score a gorgeous goal from a sweet pass from Kes and I am totally smitten. I haven’t bought a new sweater yet but I might be Ripping it up(Har har) and there’s a chance Shane baybee will be relegated to second best boyfriend. I’m not exactly great at this whole commitment thing.

The fact my COUSIN JAMES WRIGHT is sticking with the Tampa Bay Lightning. Oh my goodness it’s just all sorts of amazing and wonderful. The coach practically GUSHES over him. Wrighter’s such a sweetheart and he deserves every second of this. Vinny Lecavalier talks him up in the paper and on the radio. I bet sometimes he talks to my dear heart MATTY OHLUND. He scored his first ever NHL goal with assists from Marty and Vinny. Last week I added Wrighter to my fantasy team. Yeah. My own cousin is right there on my fantasy bench. It’s crazy and awesome. As soon as I have more cabbage I am heading down to Tampa in my 43 sweater to watch a game and work on my righteous tan all in the same trip.

Christian Ehrhoff’s foxy foxy German accent: Oh and the fact that he has 11 points and hasn’t looked NEARLY as scary defensively as Sharks fans have led me to believe.

MickeySammy Samulesson the scoring machine who sounds like a Swedish muppet and makes me giggle.

Silly line brawls that make Kevin Bieksa and Shane baybee give their sexiest angry faces and lead to parties in the penalty box and oh so amusing profanity laced arguments between the benches. NHL, please oh please put uncensored games on DVD. Fans would buy that shiznit up like crazy and make you tons of cabbage.

I hate

This motherblipping injury train: Just leave US ALONE hockey gods!! What did we ever do to you? Do I need to do a health dance outside or something? Make a sacrifice? Every SINGLE game someone else goes down in pain. Did anyone else puke in their mouth when Hank Sedin limped off after blocking a shot? Grabby finally gets his big NHL chance and shows some really good stuff and then BREAKS HIS ANKLE PLAYING SOCCER BEFORE THE GAME. It’s just getting ridiculous now. That must be so disappointing. Poor wee Grabby.

“Kate Moss” Wellwood and Burr: Well I don’t hate them specifically. They’re still total dolls. But I hate their play this year. They just don’t look like the same confident players they were last season. At. All. We need them for some sexy secondary scoring. They need to find their winning spirit within as Ryan Walter would probably say.

This STUPID STUPID kicking motion goal rule that appears to vary from goal to goal and ref to ref: That should have been a goal for Kes last night. He didn’t lift his leg off the ice and kick it in. Why can’t they just say all goals that aren’t thrown in with a glove count?

I guess I love more than I hate. Heh. Yayyyyyyyyyy.

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