Jan 142011

As part of the NHL Guardian Project, the NHL has unveiled the Vancouver Canucks’ Guardian. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, presenting Batman ‘The Canuck’.

The Canuck NHL Guardian Project

Photo credit: NHL.com

The Canuck is tough, he’s fearless and he is not afraid of physical work. In look, he is mostly human, combined with certain attributes of a killer whale. He has a massive cape attached to his waist that possesses the ability of shape shifting. The Canuck cannot fly but he can propel himself out of the water to great heights. Like all aquatic mammals, the Canuck uses a hyper sensitive form of Echo Location that enables him to track enemies at sea.

The Canuck has two main super abilities – first is a form of natural empathy in which he can summon rain and during the ensuing rainstorm he can fashion the resulting downpour into any number of offensive or defensive weapons. He also has the power of summoning which he uses to call his whale friends to his aid when necessary. Hidden in the Canuck’s wrist guards and boots are retractable spikes that assist him in maneuvering through the treetops. It’s an odd sight watching this half killer whale character bounding through the trees but it’s completely natural to this most contrarian of Guardians.

Is it just me or does The Canuck look eerily like Fin with a cape or Batman with fins?

  • Earlyriserda

    what a joke

  • Earlyriserda

    what a joke

  • Sheldon

    Disappointed in this one

  • Fuckyou

    Environmental empathy as a power……????? What stupid crap is that. Does he fire carbon tax credits out of his ass too? Lame lame lame…..the worst of the whole bunch. Thanks Stan.

  • The Stinky whale.

    Watch out evil THE STINKY WHALE IS ON IT”S WAY. His super power is huge craps.

  • I am disappoint

    I know this whole guardian project thing has been pretty lame from the start, but I was at least hoping that they would use Johnny Canuck as a starting point, but instead we get Batman and Aquaman’s idiot offspring. I know Wolverine already fills the role of the “Canadian wildman” superhero, but at least if The Canuck was a lumberjack he might have cool axes and stuff. Instead, he can make nature rain fish on his opponents. Blah.

  • Jsalisi

    I too wished they’d use Johnny Canuck

  • Guy

    You said it man, what the f.? Sorry, but this guy is totally Gay! look at all the other teams dudes, they look at least like they could survive a good bitch slapping, but this guy looks like a regular at Celebrities – no offence but seriously, whale buddies? More like bum buddies, Stan the man. Sucks ass.

  • What the???

    Unless I’m missing it…Where’s the Canucks logo on this “guy”?

  • Wyldecard

    Lamest of all of the guardian project heroes, with the possible exception of the Oiler.

  • Wyldecard

    It’s there on his chest, just hard to notice at first due to all the disappointment. :p

  • el

    What the hell does an orca whale have to do with the word “Canuck”? God, now even these guys are in on this stupid whale identity thing. It’s Johnny Canuck period.

  • el

    What the hell does an orca whale have to do with the word “Canuck”? God, now even these guys are in on this stupid whale identity thing. It’s Johnny Canuck period.

  • Canucklehead

    LAME… but then again… the NHL is only about money. How do you get kids (and their money) in markets where hockey is not even on their radar interested in spending money on the NHL? Make comicbook heros out of the teams. And let’s screw it up even more by commissioning the artists with only a team logo as their inspiration. Who cares that you have big athletes wearing armor, sticks, blades, speed, etc… no, the greatest game on earth is not enough to get people’s attention err…money. Let’s make a comic book about the teams that has NOTHING to do with the sport…. yah, that’s it…. and making the FIRST PLACE TEAM have the lamest characrer? Ohhhhh let’s start the conspiracy theories now about how his speaks to the league’s attitude towards Canadian teams and their intent to keep the cup out of Canada so they don’t loose U.S. TV advertising revenue….

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