U Can’t Touch This: Individual Goal Songs for the Vancouver Canucks

After a brief flirtation with Locksley’s “The Whip”, the Vancouver Canucks new goal song is “Electric Worry” by Clutch.  This song replaced Green Day’s “Holiday” (which was starting to get a bid dated old and even annoy a few fans).  Not to be confused with Madonna’s “Holiday” which would annoy almost all fans.

As I watched Aaron Rome skate out to The B-52’s “Roam” when named the game’s 2nd star last Sunday in Vancouver’s 4-1 defeat of the New York Islanders, I started to wonder what it would be like if each of the Vancouver Canucks had his own personal goal song?  This would be similar to how some baseball stadiums play certain songs with certain players, or how WWE wrestlers each have personalized theme music.

It would be an easy way for fans to get to know the players a little bit better…especially if the players were allowed to pick their own songs. 

This isn’t exactly a brand new topic; it’s been bantered around a bit on the Team 1040 and fellow blogger The Stanchion did a great piece on goal songs for the US-born Canuck players here.  But I had a few suggestions for some of the Canucks as well.  Keep in mind that a few of these songs aren’t exactly crowd-pumpers as I went for a mix of hype and suitability.

  • Dan Hamhuis:  MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This”.  Imagine over 18,000 fans side-stepping and shuffling on cue.  The cue of course would be “Hammer Time!”  Parachute pants optional.
  • Keith Ballard:  Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie”.  This catchy song would pay homage the one of the best hip-checkers in the entire league.  Come to think of it, they should play this song after every Ballard hip-check as well.  Even after the clipping penalties!
  • Sami Salo:  The Black Eyed Peas “Boom Boom Pow”.  A not-so-subtle reference to Salo’s extremely hard shot.   Could also be used a fight song for Dale Weise or Aaron Volpatti.
  • Andrew Alberts:  Billy Joel’s “The Longest Time”.  He averages one goal per season.  Plus it would be nice to hear some doo-wop.
  • Aaron Rome:  The Trammps’ “Disco Inferno”.  While admittedly not the most intimidating of songs, I can certainly envision the crowd chanting “Burn Baby Burn” in referring to the Great Fire of Rome (Roam).
  • Kevin Bieksa:  LMFAO’s “Shots”.  Ever since the infamous playoff interview with Scott Oake last spring, this is a no-brainer.
  • Alex Edler:  Marvin Gaye’s “How Sweet It Is”.  This will appeal to Motown-lovers as they can replace the word “sweet” with “Swede”.
  • Henrik and Daniel Sedin:  Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror”.   This song wouldn’t really get anyone excited but the tie-in is obvious.  And more importantly, it was a way to give one more plug to my popular CCC with Whitecaps Anthem Singer Marie Hui.
  • Jannik Hansen:  Hanson’s  “MMMBop”.  Definitely not the most masculine of songs but it would be a hit with the kids and some ladies.
  • Ryan Kesler:  LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It” or Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy”.  Four words:  ESPN Magazine’s Body Issue.
  • Alex Burrows:  Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle”.  Alex Burrows is certainly an irritant to his opponents, like a burr in a saddle.  Good rock song too.
  • Chris Higgins:  Bruce Springstein’s “Born in the USA”.  Along with Kesler and Booth, one of our most prominent US-born forwards.
  • David Booth:  Bruce Springstein’s “Born in the USA”.  Along with Kesler and Higgins, one of our most prominent US-born forwards.  Probably more appropriate that “How Great Thou Art.”
  • Max Lapierre:   Nas’ “Hate me Now”.  Does anybody like this guy (not counting his teammates)?
  • Cody Hodsgon:  Paul McCartney’s “Young Boy”.  The fifth track on his 1997 album Flaming Pie, this song peaked at #19 on the charts. 
  • Aaron Volpatti:  Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger”.  A classic rock song that conjures up the images of Rocky.  Befitting of one of our best fighters.
  • Manny Malhotra:   Soundgarden’s “Searching With My Good Eye Closed”.  A tad obvious, but a great 90s rock track. 
  • Dale Weise:  Death Cab for Cutie’s “I Will Follow You Into the Dark”.  A reference to Weise’s recent foray into the Twitterverse and his penchant for following attractive ladies (at least according to the pictures).

Clay Imoo

Clay Imoo is a Canucks season ticket member and creator of Canucks parody songs. He is a co-host of the C4 podcast and writer of Things That Make You Go Hmmm and CHB's Top 10. More importantly, he is a husband and father.

2 Responses

  1. Mrslizchan says:

    awesome post clay!!!!

  1. November 17, 2011

    […] U Can’t Touch This: Individual Goal Songs for the Vancouver Canucks […]

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