The Fake Game According to Twitter: Canucks 3 Flames 1

No NHL? No problem. Thanks to the Wyatt Arndt (or @TheStanchion of Legion of Blog fame), we have #fakecanucksseason games, starting with tonight’s fake season opener between your Vancouver Canucks and the Calgary Flames. And our best faker, Chris Golden recaps the game in your tweets.

The rivalry in the fake season is as intense as it is in real life.

The (Fake) Game According to Twitter: Canucks 3 vs Flames 1 2012/2013 Season Opener

No NHL? No problem. Thanks to the @TheStanchion, we have #fakecanucksseason games, starting with tonight’s season opener between the Canucks and the Calgary Flames. And our best faker, Chris Golden recaps the game in your tweets.

Storified by Canucks Hockey Blog · Thu, Oct 11 2012 22:21:38

Wow.  What an off-season.  With all that rhetoric going back and forth between the NHL and NHLPA, how many of you even thought that tonight’s season opener was actually going to happen?
Woah, woah, woah.  Back up that bus.  Are you saying that tonight’s game is a fake one?  What the heck?!?  I invited all my friends over.  And J.J. brought a half bottle of bootleg beer.
Also, I’m here at the fake Saddledome and 12 fake Flames fans have informed me… that the Fake Canucks suck. #TGATTMatthew Brosseau
As a devout Canucks fan, this depresses me.  When will the boys in blue get some serious respect?
I just told my wife the real reason why I can’t go out for dinner until 7:30pm. She wasn’t too impressed. Thank God it’s not our anniversaryClay Imoo
This just in:  Clay’s wife has banned him from working with Canucks Hockey Blog.
Umm… this is whole fake game controversy is going to cut into our epic content.  Seeing as Clay is our musical talent, I require you all to watch the following video and then apply if you think you have the musical chops.
The Axis of Awesome: 4 Chords (2011) Official Music Videoaxisofawesome
Man.  Those guys were good.  I hope the Flames brought them in to sing the anthem.
Almost game time folks.  Are you ready?  I said are you READY?
Stuck in LA traffic… Move people!!! I need to get home and watch Fake Season!!! #TGATT #CanucksEuropatravels
Just boarded my flight so no live streaming of Fake Season Opener for me 🙁 looking forward to #TGATT though!Melaina
Hurry up #VPdebate, I want to watch the #fakecanucksseason! #Americancanucksfanproblems #TGATTKristin McGunnigle
Apparently not.  While I’ve never been caught in LA traffic, I hear it’s rough.  And sure, it would probably be an appropriate time to make a crack about the Kings winning the Stanley Cup, but that would be so uncouth of us.
It’s quiet today in LA. Reminds me of the day the Kings won the Stanley Cup.Conan O’Brien
Weird.  How’d that tweet sneak in?  And it’s from July.  So odd.
Appropriately, the fake anthem singers were Milli Vanilli…despite one of them being deceased. #blameitontheflames #TGATTClay Imoo
Milli Vanilli – Girl You Know It’s True – 1989 – Versión Extendidacarlsbertsanz
Leave it to the fake Calgary Flames to bring in a group that faked it far too early for society to accept faking as an art.  And to figure out how to reanimate those who have passed.
Fake Roberto Luongo gets the Opening Game start. Fake Eddie Lack as angry as the Calgary troll in the Livestream chat #TGATTKen Leech
Luongo got the start?! Oh the DRAMA! Will it never end? Days of Our Goalies Lives.#SoapOpera #TGATTVictoria
Holy hockey sticks in a hand basked!  Luongo is getting the start?  I thought Lack had a solid pre-season.  And whatever happened to Schneider?  Is he hurt?  This whole fake season thing is so darn confusing.
Whatevs.  I wonder what Luongo some guy on twitter thinks of guy between the pipes.
Hey @eddielack can u make sure to keep the toweledge and Gatorade flowing tonight when I come to the bench. Ur the best! #FakeCanucksSeason Strombone
And the puck drops!  Game on!
What a dive by Jaybo. #fakecanucksseasonP Y
Seriously?  That’s a call?  I’ve seen Slapshot I don’t know how many times and I’m pretty sure diving isn’t tripping.
Slap Shot (1/10) Movie CLIP – The Finer Points of Hockey (1977) HDmovieclips
You know it’s a #fakecanucksseason when Comeau is the one scoring.Clay Imoo
Frack.  How was Comeau left open?  I know that covering him is a waste of resources, but c’mon….
See Booth is still on the 4th line! Botch won’t be impressed. How will he score his fake goals??? #TGATTDan Christensen
I’m not sure on Booth scoring fake goals and all, but I’ve heard he has a wicked shot regardless of what line he’s on.  He was working his shot all throughout the summer.
Intermission time.  The NHL has sure gone retro in cleaning the ice.  Guess that’s the reality with the new economy.  Wonder what the cost of the beverages is these days?
I can’t believe I paid $7.50 for this fake beer #TGATTMatthew Brosseau
BOOM!  Hank gets the good guys on the board.  Canucks tie it up 1-1!
And the first Canucks goal of the #fakecanucksseason is Henrik from Garrison and Booth. #TGATTClay Imoo
Damn straight!  I got a good feeling about this fake season.  A mighty good feeling!
Locked out of Fake Hockey too 🙁 Just have to catch the highlights… There will be a Fake Sportsnet report right? #TGATTDeborah Burke
No excuse.  Real or fake, you all know that the Canucks are a hot ticket item.
Fake Raymond seems eerily similar to the real Raymond …. #TGATTDan Christensen
Raymond is as Raymond does.
Wait, fake Raymond just cut to the middle! I want this one over the real one! #TGATTDan Christensen
That’s because fake Raymond is faking you out making you think that fake Raymond is better than real Raymond when we all know that real or fake, Raymond is Raymond.
MASSIVE save from @strombone1… errr.. Luongo.
Just to make sure, because this is a fake game and all, you’re not talking about Lui Passaglia, right?
Burrows puts the Canucks up 2-1!  We have ’em right where we want ’em!
BURRRRR!!!! #thatswinningdaturd #TGATTJenn Johnson
Booth assisted on a goal? This REALLY is a fake game. What’s next, a Raymond hattrick?! #WouldNeverHappenInRL #TGATTVictoria
Something I learned from Booth’s travails this off-season is that he likes to hunt in a group.  Makes sense that he’d pot an assist here and there.
#LockedOut of Fake Season, but still following the fake game on twitter… This is kind of sad #TGATTEuropatravels
No it’s not.  Following a fake game on twitter is cool.  Because we said so.  And look – you made it in to The Fake Game According to Twitter.
#fakecanucks with the empty netter, and its a final. 3-1 Canucks win the season opener! #tgattKen Leech
Awww yeah, Fake Canucks get the W!!! Money worth spending #TGATTMatthew Brosseau
Nucks win 3-1 !! Woohooo 🙂 #fakecanucksseasonTeeny Gonzales
Like any of you had any doubt that the Flames could beat the Canucks in the fake season opener.
Canucks win 3-1! #FakeCanucksSeason Johnson
What a game.  What a freaking game!  Sure I didn’t watch it before doing this, but based on your tweets I’m really feeling good about this team.
The fake traffic is going to be brutal. #FakeCanucksSeason #TGATTBrie
It always is.  But it could be worse.  You could be Matthew:
The line at the fake washroom took forever during intermission #TGATTMatthew Brosseau
It would.  Pretty sure it was all that fake beer you were drinking.
Well thanks for stopping by.  If you have any extra time, we at CHB like to do a something, something to pass the time.  In the words of Ron Burgundy, “It’s time to dance, blankety blank.”  I call grenade.
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (7/8) Movie CLIP – Wanna Dance? (2004) HDmovieclips

Chris Golden

Chris is the Head, Social & Community Relations here at CHB, hosts the C4 podcast and is the guy who goes streaking when Chris Tanev scores goals. He's also still looking for 1.21 gigawatts of power.

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