Feb 132013
 

The Canucks and Wild don’t like each other much, but the only real fight tonight was the fight to stay awake while watching it.

The lovely and talented Lizz Moffat has a scholarly obligation and her usual substitute, @lyteforce, is busy riding around the Sky Train in his underwear so you’ve got me tonight!

Ummm… we better just get to the game.


The Game According to Twitter: Vancouver Canucks vs Minnesota Wild

The Canucks and Wild don’t like each other much but the only real fight tonight was the fight to stay awake while watching it.

Storified by Canucks Hockey Blog· Wed, Feb 13 2013 05:31:43

Bachelor life starts now. When do the pants come off? Now on the train or at home?Chris Golden
The lovely and talented Lizz Moffat has a scholarly obligation and her usual substitute, @lyteforce, is busy riding around the Sky Train in his underwear so you’ve got me tonight!
 I’m not as adorable as Lizz and my eyes aren’t as sky blue as Chris, but I’m confident I’m up to the challenge!
So the game starts at 7pm right? #Canucks #TGATT #ImTotallyReadyForThis #NotAtAll #IJustHopeIDontSuckVictoria
Okay, 7pm and here we go…. except that TSN is still showing the Habs-Lightning game. With 1:43 left in the 3rd Habs-Lightning decide to have a goal controversy to delay the Canucks game even more. 
I think we have figured out how the MTL/TB is going to end #TSN. Some of us need to see our ‘Nucks. #tgattTara T
While we wait, CHB’s Clay entertains us with photos of one of his adorable children. 
At @VanCanucks game w/Jake. #CHB taking bets on when he will fall asleep. Over/under set at 2nd intermission. #TGATT http://pic.twitter.com/ul9FJOkMClay Imoo
Vegas says the odds that Jacob stays awake until the 3rd period are 12-1. I would give him a 1-pound bag of mini egss and a shot of espresso to make sure he doesn’t miss a thing. This is why I’m not a mom.
The Habs pull a Habs and meltdown allowing 2 goals in less than 2 minutes and their game goes to OT. 
Okay, that’s just the most ridiculous troll job ever, Sami Salo. He probably called that shot, too #TGATT #BallsOfSteelKent Basky
I love you Salo, but DAMN you for delaying me watching the #Canucks.Chris Golden
#Habs blow another lead, prompting my wife to say the "CH’ stands for "choke". #IMarriedALeafsFanSpector’s Hockey
Meanwhile at Rogers Arena, the National anthems are being performed. 
#anthemanalysis for Stacey McKitrick: pitch 4.5, pace 5, singability 5, look 4.5, ending 4. Score of 23/25 (92%). Solid job. #TGATTClay Imoo
Canucks game moves to TSN2 and fans are rage-y!
"#Canucks game can now be seen on TSN2." No, it can’t. I don’t have frickin’ TSN2. #TGATTWalter Siu
Hahaha the #Canucks get shafted to TSN2 and most miss puck drop. How HNIC of them. #TGATTLXXXVII
The first period starts like a first period against the Wild usually does – with nothing eventful happening. I’m not going to lie, Canucks-Wild games are usually as exciting as high school economics class.
Boring Economics Teacherangelabroz87
Before the period ends – and we all need shots of Red Bull – Kevin Bieksa scores off a pass from Zack “Toothless Wonder” Kassian. Boom! Canucks draw first blood. 
Kevin Bieksa 1-0 goal vs Wild (Feb 12, 2013)canucks
With passes like that, Zack Kassian’s playmaking will go from underrated to rated in no time. #CanucksPass it to Bulis
and this belongs in #TGATT RT Mike ‏@MikeGT79 Seems fitting for Bieksa to score on #BellLetsTalk day! #mindcheckDeborah D Burke
Kassian spots Bieksa in the slot and hey, that’s a hell of a shot. Juice is on a bit of a tear and we’re up 1-0 #TGATTKent Basky
I didn’t know Bieksa even could smile… #CanucksCarson McKee
Oh he can smile, Carson. Although, it’s Bieksa’s ‘angry face’ that usually makes others smile. 
Alain Vigneault Cracks Up at Vernon Fiddlers "Angry Bieksa" Impression (HD)hockeywebcaster
Oh, and by the way, the game is now off TSN2 and back where it was supposed to be on TSN. Nothing like a little channel ping pong to add some fun! Not that we need the extra excitement, the Bieksa goal seems to have fired the boys right up. 
Zack Kassian is just ridiculous. That was one hell of a shift there. #canucks have Minny back on their heels a bit #TGATTKent Basky
That was a good two shifts for the #Canucks to the Wild’s one. #Canucks #TGATT #BellLetsTalkCanucks Hockey Blog
Now that was a shift.. actually a few of them…Blake Price
TSN tells us that Bobby Lu and Kuemper had a moment in warm-up. 
Luongo was seen in pre-game warmups wishing good luck to Kuemper, playing his first #NHL game today… Guy is still a class act. #CanucksMatt Lee
@strombone1 All class sliding over too wish the Wild Goalie good luck in his first NHL game. #TGATT #CanucksG12luonGOLD
Awe… goalie bromance right before Valentine’s Day. *Sniff*Sniff*
Bromance (Official Music Video)nigahiga
Burr gets a scoring opportunity and Kuemper proves he might be new to the league but he’s done he’s homework.
Doesn’t matter if it’s his first game, every goalie in the universe has Burrows backhand move scouted. #Canucks #TGATTj.Bowman
Burr should’ve gone with his good ol’ reliable spin-o-rama on that breakaway. #CanucksDennis Pang
Zenon Konopka and Burr have a shoving match by the bench. Both go to the box.  
Burrows and Konopka to the boxes. They were having a face rubbing with gloves contest. They both lost. #CanucksG12Canucks Game
Konopka is definitely the guy who took 15 minutes to read a paragraph during class readings.BrowntoBure
RT @mnwildLIVE: Konopka getting into it with Burrows. Piece of advice for Alex, don’t mess with him. You don’t want to see him when he’s angry.David Chrisinger
Meanwhile Lapierre decides to have a delightful… umm.. spirited conversation with the Minny bench. Who doesn’t love a yappy Lappy?
you tell him Max Lapierre! #mychirpmaster #lovehimtodeth #CanucksG12simran sappal
Can someone mic Lapierre for a game?Meαgαn Ringrose
I’m I the only one that wishes Lapierre would wear a mic during the games? Cause I bet his chirps are pricelessRobert Kay
I like how Ray is explaining a conversation we all heard loud & clear between the benches. Ray’s version was cleaner tho. #Canucks #TGATT Chris Golden
As we come to the first intermission, let’s take a moment to reflect on some of  Yappy Lappy’s best work.
Max Lapierre Taunts Bergeron – 06.04.11 – HDcanuckshd
As the 2nd period starts, the Canucks are shorthanded. Ballard’s in the box. We kill it off, but Setoguchi must feel bad for us because he gives us a powerplay of our very own! 
Juice spill. Clean up on the blue line. Annnnd penalty to Setoguchi. Henrik, how you feelin? #CanucksG12Canucks Game
Oh noes. Setoguchi maaaaad.Melaina
We’re severely outplaying the wild. There’s no way to sugar coat that – so Canucks fans don’t even try.
#Mnwild do not have a shot in 2nd at half way even with PP. #canucks up 2-0 #sleepinginthewild #TGATTGlen Thayer
Word from Parise’s PR team. His name is actually pronounced "ineffective" #TGATT #Canucksj.Bowman
The suddenly – DING! Honeybadger Hansen scores! The biggest shocker – Ballard was involved!
Jannik Hansen 2-0 goal vs Wild (Feb 12, 2013)canucks
Hansen, Schroeder and Raymond O W N E D that shift, were rewarded with a GOAL! #TGATT #CanucksG12 #RYP37 #BellLetsTalk #ohshita2goalleadluonGOLD
I’d never thought I’d hear the words "a pretty play from Ballard…" Until today. What a beaut! That Hansen’s so hot right now. #CanucksSarah McGrath
Keith Ballard with his first point of the season. Now on pace for 4 points for the year. I think he can do it. #TGATTClay Imoo
Another dust up by the boards as the Wild get rough with the Sedins. The result: a penalty to Lapierre. 
Lapierre standing up for the sedins #thatscute <3 #vancouvercanucksloveSerrah❤
Don’t you dare touch Lapierre, Minnesota Wild! Don’t you dare touch any of the Canucks!Delia X
If I got to pick who gets to fight marchand in a death match it’d be Lapierre. That little rascalDerek Overvest
Not sure what killing Marchand has to do with this Wild game, but I appreciate the sentiment. 
As Canucks begin the penalty kill, the TV goes black. Another stellar job by TSN. 
Oh it’s ok, I wasn’t watching that or anything TSN. #Canucks #BellLetsTalkSpencerDubas
#wild pp is so terrible that #TSN decided to go to commercialJosh Mann
I SWEAR IF WILD SCORES IM WRITING AN ANGRY LETTER TO TSNWayne House
Start typing, Wayne. 
Apparently, a blackout works as well for the Wild as it does for the 49ers. Seconds after TSN gets the feed back, Setoguchi scores for Minnesota. 
Setoguchi gets the #MNWild on the board with just two seconds left on the PP. #Canucks still lead 2-1.Matt Lee
Ummm was that Andrew Ebbett making himself noticeable @patersonjeff ?Steve May
well at least now it’s only a 1 goal lead, no more 2 goal lead worries… hopefully #TGATT #BellLetsTalk #mindcheck #HockeyTalksDeborah D Burke
If you’re bummed about Setoguchi scoring, just remember, he has to live with this for the rest of his life: 
Devin Setoguchi Shootout Fail (HD Multiview)hockeywebcaster
At the second intermission, we’re treated to a Jannik Hansen interview. In case you missed it, he sounds a lot like this:
Cory Schneider does Jannik Hansen impressionampsup211
Just thought of something random: can you imagine Jannik Hansen’s voice before it changed? Probably can break glass. #Canucks #TGATTWalter Siu
Before the 3rd period even begins, Lapierre gets a talking to for being yappy. lol Oh Max…. what are we going to to with you? Hmmm.. I have some ideas….. (are Puck Bunny Thoughts allowed in The Game According to Twitter?)
Why is the ref talking to Lapierre? Especially when guys like Konopka are sitting on the other bench.. #fuckoffɹǝpuɐxǝl∀ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And in case you were worried the game would get boring again, Bieksa skates off the ice in obvious discomfort. Nothing like injury-panic to keep it interesting. 
*prayer circle for Bieksa’s knee*Rida
Oh no! Walk it off Bieksa…#Canucks #TGATTKiran Mehat
oh god Andrew Alberts is going to play next game… #Pray4JuiceSedinitronic
Before I can even get down on one knee, Juice is back. Thank the hockey Gods. 
RT @Bieksa_luvver3: Well that was a sigh of relief. Bieksa back on the bench.Alyxa Hepting
Commercial break. Let’s find out who is winning the wager on whether Jacob Imoo is awake or not? 
Into the 3rd period and Jacob is still awake. You win if you had the over. Now let’s see if he makes it to the car. #TGATT #BellLetsTalkClay Imoo
You gave him the chocolate and espresso didn’t you, Clay? 
Our French Canadians are attracted to the penalty box tonight. Burr lands there. AGAIN.
So… Gilbert grabs Burrows’ stick under his arm and Burr gets the penalty. *sigh*Leigh Ramsden
Burrows to the box… DRINK!Ian Smith
Luckily, the only thing as bad as our powerplay is the Wild’s powerplay. Score remains 2-1 Canucks. 
#Canucks Ebbett gets full marks for #hustle on that PK #TGATTGlen Thayer
Ray Ferraro is enjoying the chirping on the bench. Once again I wish every game was like a 24/7 game. Why can’t we just mic the crap out of everyone? Sigh. Of course we do some mighty fine chirping on Twitter too.
Remember when everyone thought Wild games would be more fun to watch because of Parise and Suter? Hahahaha. #canucksJocelyn Aspa
Isn’t Clutterbuck a restaurant in Spongebob? The one that always fails? Fitting. #Canucks #wild #BellLetsTalkSpencerDubas
Koivu proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s a giant dick. #TGATTKent Basky
i feel sorry for #Kuemper for having to play on such a shitty, punk ass team.Jennifer Juniper
Meow Canucks fans! You’ve got your Mean Girl pants on tonight!
Mean Girls (8/10) Movie CLIP – A Lot of Feelings (2004) HDmovieclips
Okay… now we’re getting antsy. We don’t like 2-goal leads but suddenly everyone wants one again. And everyone wants Hank to tie Naslund in points. 
And insurance goal would sure do wonders right about now. Do y’all know hard it is to tweet with your hands clenched? #tgatt #BellLetsTalkTara T
CAHMON Hanky…. Get your 2 points to take the all time point leader!! #canucks #BellLetsTalk❄Baw-nee❄
AV first period intermission speech: "Henrik, at this rate Tanev is gonna beat Naslund before you – get your poop in a group, son!"Corey Snyder
No goal. No more chirping. No point for Henrik. No anything. Twitter seems to have fallen into a coma.
Look’s like the Wild’s game plan to lull the the Canucks to sleep will dull play is starting to pay off. #TGATTChris Baldwin
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz #TGATTChris Golden
Boooorrrrrriiiinnnngggggg!!!! Zzzzzzzzzzzzz #Canucks #TGATTChristine Hay
Wild pull the goalie and things get almost interesting. Lapierre tries for an open net goal but all he gets is an icing call.
Damn it Max! #TGATTChris Baldwin
Dumb dumb dumb, Lappy. #TGATT #CanucksJustin Abraham
Crazy how a guy who won the Canucks Superskills accuracy contest this year can’t hit the open net. But here’s a tip, whenever I get frustrated with Lappy I just stare at his dimple. That dimple is too adorable to be angry at.  Focus on the dimple people! 
Maxim lapierremaximlapierre004
Time winds down and the Canucks win 2-1! The only thing the Minnesota Wild managed to do was keep Henrik from tying Naslund in points. Don’t worry Hank fans, it’ll happen.
We won, even if the end of the game was a bit of a Clutterbuck. #tgattTara T
Woooooooo…6 in a row! Hank can get his point next game! *Go #Canucks Go* #TGATTKiran Mehat
That’s 8 goals allowed in their last 7 games. Hottest D in the league. And they’re doing without Ray Lewis. #CanucksGuts McTavish
In other news, if you bet the adorable Mini-Clay would stay awake for the whole Canucks game, you won big! And with a game this boring, the kid deserves a medal! Way to go Jacob!
A good night all around: the Canucks won the game and Jake stayed awake to see the whole thing! #TGATT http://pic.twitter.com/y8xA5eCVClay Imoo
That’s all she wrote Nucks fans! 
  • Zach Morris

    Fantastic. Great write up :3

  • http://www.canuckshockeyblog.com/ Chris (@lyteforce)

    Any of your tweets make the cut Zach? And tell me… is Kelly Kapowski the real deal? ;)

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