This pretty much sums up how most in Canucks Nation are feeling this morning, eh?
Ahhh… the playoffs. White towels galore, Roberto Luongo in net, and U2′s “Where the Streets Have No Name” blaring as the Canucks skate on the ice.
Let the towels reign supreme!!! U2 is back on the entrance baby LUUUUUUUU! #TGATT ITS PLAYOFFS BABY WOOOO! #Canucks
— Glen Thayer (@glenthayer) May 2, 2013
Lu was great too. It’s just too bad the rest of the team weren’t.
Not exactly sure what happened between Monday and last night, but maybe the switch was flipped – just off? Or was it connected to the SkyTrain, because boy were there issues. Regardless, this tweet sums up the game nicely:
I was offered ticket to tonight’s #Canucks game, but I refused. So far it looks like I made the right decision. #TGATT #jobhunting
— Walter Siu (@waterboy99troop) April 26, 2013
At least we have TGATT to make things better!
Rudy Staal
Jared Staal is set to make his NHL debut for the Carolina Hurricanes tonight. The Canes, whose Captain is Eric Staal and who acquired Jordan Staal from the Pens last summer, are playing the New York Rangers. Marc Staal plays for NYR. So much Staal! Unfortunately, Marc Staal is injured and will not play. Although Eric Staal joked to media that maybe Marc would take the warm-up so they could all skate around together. Don’t toy with my emotions, Eric.
In case you haven’t figured it out, I am a Staal fanatic. They are my favorite players in the NHL. As excited as I am to see the youngest Staal make the NHL, I can’t help but think it’s not actually a debut so much as a swan-song. Jared Staal is 22 and he peaked before his NHL draft. He has struggled so much on the Charlotte Checkers, his first year he spent some time in the ECHL and then spent most of last year as a healthy scratch. Although he’s done better this year he was only brought up because the Canes thought it made more sense to send Riley Nash down to help the Checkers in the AHL playoffs. Also, Jared’s in the third year of his AHL contract and there are serious doubts it will be renewed. So is this his Rudy moment? I think it might me, sadly.
Duncan “Sexist” Keith: Is he jealous of Sedin’s Choppers?
Was it sexist to tell Karen Thomson, the female sports reporter, that ‘she probably can’t play either.’ Yes. Why? Because he wouldn’t have said it to a male reporter. End of story. Then Duncan later told reporters that “I respect everybody. I respect everybody’s job,” …except, well, you didn’t, Dunc. Can someone just teach this self-proclaimed sore loser how to say I’m sorry? What’s more sexist than Keith’s infantile attack on the female reporter, in my opinion, is the males on twitter who declare it’s not sexism. You can’t make that call, boys because you are BOYS. It’s like me telling a gay person what they can find homophobic. I can’t. One guy even snarkily told me that I should just let it go and blamed political correctness for people’s anger at the comment. Guess what? The only thing more sexist than assuming a girl can’t play hockey is a guy blaming political correctness and telling a woman to get over it.
But let’s get back to the real issue here – Keith’s inability to control his anger towards Daniel Sedin. This time he kept his elbows down but took a two-handed whack at Daniel’s back with his stick after Sedin scored. What’s causing Duncan to act like a trantruming toddler every time he plays Daniel Sedin? Is he frustrated that Sedin’s raw talent clearly outweighs his own and that Sedin can score goals without needing to injure people first? Or is he angry at that Sedin managed to get all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals and didn’t lose one tooth, where Duncan had to lose seven? Hmm…
Bryzgalov: Journalism For Dummies
Ilya Brygalov’s quirky personality has become a problem for him. I saw it coming. Sure, it’s all fun and games when he’s talking about tigers and the universe, but the media has crossed Bryz’s proverbial line and he’s not happy about it. Recently a rumor surfaced, and the media ran with it, that Brygalov was benched for a game because he fell asleep in a team meeting. Sounds hysterical, but not to Bryz. He chastised the media, called the claim ridiculous, said they needed better sources and told them they needed to do their job better. Bryz needs to understand he created this monster. He’s never once tried to be anything other than outrageous since being traded to the Flyers. His erratic performance and high salary already make him a target, add to that his outrageous personality, and you can’t blame the media for believing he’d catch some Zzzs
Ryan Kesler returns to the lineup and scores the game-winning goal. Cory Schneider gets his 11th straight start and records his 4th shutout in 9 games.
Ginger Brick by Ginger Brick the C-Wall continues to grow!!!! #Canucks #TGATT
— Sean Holmes-Smith (@holmes156) April 9, 2013
With the win, the Canucks are now 10 points clear of the 9th place Coyotes.
Yes, it was a good night.
With the season finale of the Walking Dead, one of my favorite shows on TV, I started to think about which Canucks I would want on my team if there was a Zombie apocalypse… and which ones I wouldn’t want. Hmm…

David Booth
The funny thing about this is I don’t want him on the actual Canucks. I feel that he’s been a huge disappointment and a waste of money, but in a Zombie apocalypse, I want him on my team. Finally, all that gnarly hunting he does in his spare time will come in handy. Let’s face it, he’s the closest thing the Canucks have to a Darryl… if you take away the hillbilly badassness and add a blonde surfer flo and a bible. Like it or not, the fact that Booth’s shot is way better off the ice than on, makes him essential in a Zombie apocalypse.
Kevin Bieksa
Shots! Shots! Shots! He will punch right through a zombie’s head like it’s made of paper. Plus, his witty banter will keep things light back at camp. If you’re going to be stuck in a zombie apocalypse you might as well be stuck with a tough guy with a great sense of humor.
Chris Higgins
There are a few reasons why Chris Higgins should be on my team in a Zombie apocalypse. He’s fit. He can definitely out run a Zombie, or 16 of them. Food is scarce and not necessarily healthy in the zombie apocalypse, and the one time I met Chris Higgins, he was coming out of a Subway. Clearly the dude can eat ANYTHING and stay fit. Last but not least, if he gets caught, the Zombies probably won’t eat him – there’s not a lot of fat on that body to gnaw on. (Yes this was just an excuse to show his abs again. Female Canucks fans, you’re welcome).

Who wouldn’t I want with me in a Zombie apocalypse? I’ve been thinking about that too.
Max Lapierre
If you know me, you know admitting this pains me more than I can say but Lappy would not be a good person to be with in a Zombie apocalypse. He’s too antagonistic. He’d taunt the zombies. If Max waves his fingers in front of a zombie and tells them to take a bite like he did with Boston, they will. End of Lappy.

Mason Raymond
I know he’s been playing better but I’d still be worried about his ability to stay upright. Dude spent a lot of time falling down last year in crucial moments. If he does that even once in a zombie attack, he’s an instant appetizer.
The Sedin twins
Sorry Hank and Dank. These guys aren’t big fighters. I don’t mind them taking the high road on the ice, but in a zombie apocalypse, there is no high road. Just ask Dale how taking the high road worked out for him.
So who would you want in your corner in a zombie apocalypse? Who wouldn’t you want with you? Give us your picks in the comments!
I’ve been busy moving but I haven’t stopped watching hockey… well, when I can find it, which, in LA, isn’t easy. Over the last few weeks, there have been a lot of things that have me going “Hmmm”. Hockey fans’ inability to forgive, Kesler’s latest injury, and the debate about visors top the list.
Hockey Fans Hold Grudges
Matt Cooke is the devil. He could cure cancer, save orphaned kittens from a burning house and get Gary Bettman fired and people would still hate his guts. I get that the old Matt Cooke was a monster. No two ways about it. But the new Matt Cooke – the post-2011 Matt Cooke – isn’t. He’s changed his ways drastically. Need proof? Last season Matt Cooke had 42 PIMs. Henrik Sedin had 52. And I’m talking last year’s Hank, not the enforcer we’ve seen this season.
But it seems hockey fans do not forgive and forget. Because when Matt Cooke’s skate sliced Eric Karlsson during a game, fans everywhere – mostly but not just Ottawa fans – wanted him executed.
Was the angle weird? Yes. Was the leg up? Yes. But was it on purpose? No. I get Sens fans being angry because they’ve already lost Jason Spezza and they can’t afford to lose Karlsson. I know how easy it is to judge someone on their past – but just because it’s easy, doesn’t make it right. Matt Cooke has changed. The experts, and ultimately the NHL, agreed the laceration accidental. It amazes and disappoints me that a lot of hockey fans refuse to give Cooke the benefit of the doubt, even though he’s earned it.
Kesler is the New Salo
Ryan Kesler sure has a pretty physique, too bad it’s made of glass. I don’t know what is happening to this poor guy, but he can’t stay healthy. It’s infuriating because he’s got such a hefty contract and he can be a key player when he’s focused and in the zone. I guess we’ll have to blame this on bad luck, but there’s still a reason to be concerned. Kesler’s injury apparently happened in his very first game back. Now I’ve broken bones in my foot – it’s not easy to ignore. But Kesler did it. His agent confirmed, Ryan knew there was something wrong and chose to ignore it. That’s not cool. Did he make it worse? We need him to play but we need him to do it healthy not with broken parts.
His injury and predicted 6-week recovery time means the Canucks are in a pinch on the second line once again. The problem with him being injured, for me, is we’ll probably learn to play without him. If someone else shines in the second line spot, are we willing to give that up (in a short season) for Kesler’s return? Luckily for Canucks fans Alain Vigneault isn’t big on sticking with what works. If a line does start clicking, he’ll likely scramble it up like his morning eggs before Kes even gets back anyway.
Visors
Marc Staal is out indefinitely after taking a puck directly to the eye in a game between the New York Rangers and the Philadelphia Flyers. The accident looked as severe as Manny Malholtra’s in 2011, although the Rangers, the doctors and the Staal family are saying he should make a full recovery. Sadly, I’m not so sure because as a Canucks fan I’ve seen Malholtra’s struggles and I know that hockey teams tend to give the best case scenario to fans and media, not the actual truth. I’m a huge fan of all things Staal and I have wondered for a long time why none of them wear visors – and not just because I find their faces particularly adorable and worth protecting. Jordan Staal took a fairly serious puck to the face a few years back. That would have scared me into a visor if I were Jordan, any of his siblings or his teammates.
Marc Staal’s injury has reignited the debate on whether visors should be mandatory. What makes me go ‘hmmm’ about this whole thing is why there is even a debate.
Visors should be mandatory – end of story. It’s a safety issue. It’s owners protecting their investments and players protecting their careers. Obviously, it’s not impossible to see through a visor. The guys that usually lead the league in scoring – Crosby, Giroux, Malkin, Stamkos – all wear visors. As for the old guys, or the “tough guys” that aren’t used to it, I say get used to it. According to Bill Daly, the NHL is in favor of a mandatory visor rule and wanted to incorporate it into the most recent negotiations. The NHLPA wants the players to have a choice. This is the first time I’ve ever said I agree wholeheartedly with Team Bettman. It feels dirty and uncomfortable, but in this case it’s right.
Much like the Canucks had problems getting going against the Columbus Blue Jackets, we had some technical difficulties of our own.
#TGATT is a day late, but don’t worry, it promises to be more exciting than the game itself.
Is anybody awake watching this game? Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…….. #tgatt #canucks
— luonGOLD (@LuonGOLD) March 8, 2013
Well, anyway, let’s just get to it.
The Canucks and Wild don’t like each other much, but the only real fight tonight was the fight to stay awake while watching it.
The lovely and talented Lizz Moffat has a scholarly obligation and her usual substitute, @lyteforce, is busy riding around the Sky Train in his underwear so you’ve got me tonight!
Bachelor life starts now. When do the pants come off? Now on the train or at home?
— Chris Golden (@lyteforce) February 13, 2013
Ummm… we better just get to the game.
You Wanna Go?
This season has had more than it’s fair share of fights. As of February 5, the Vancouver Canucks have had 7 fights. Same with the Habs, but I preface the date because as I’m writing this, they’re about to play the Boston Bruins. Their fight count could be 20 by the end of that game.
A fight gets a crowd going, gets a team going, and fuels a good rivalry, but no one wants a player to sustain serious injury. Two fights in the last couple of weeks have me going hmmm… because they involve the same team and show the right and wrong sides of fighting in the NHL.
First, we have the right: During a fight between the Philadelphia Flyers’ Max Talbot and the New York Rangers’ Ryan Callahan, all the shirt-tugging, pushing and pulling injured Callahan’s shoulder. Sensing that something was wrong, Talbot stopped and waved over a training, calling for medical help.
Now, the wrong: On Tuesday, the Flyers’ Zack Rinaldo fought the Tampa Bay Lightning’s BJ Crombeen. After Crombeen slipped to the ice, Rinaldo continued to pound him.
Rinaldo is a notorious fighter in the league, but that doesn’t mean he has to be a jerkoff. Would Kevin Bieksa keep throwing punches once a guy is down? I don’t think so.
To me, fighting is part of the game, but what makes it tolerable is the code – the etiquette – and Rinaldo broke it just days after his teammate, Talbot, was a poster child for it. Hmmm… I never thought I would say this but Rinaldo needs to take a lesson from Talbot.
Freaky Friday
Disney came out with a movie in the 1970s called Freaky Friday in a mom and daughter switch bodies. Every time I watch a Vancouver Canucks game this season, I can’t help but wonder if this has happened to Henrik Sedin and Zach Kassian.
First, Zack started scoring goals, and at one point, he was among the league leaders in goals scored. Then, Zack’s leading the Canucks in scoring, and as of today, he’s still tied for 3rd with Henrik in team scoring.
As if that wasn’t weird enough, our demure Swedish Captain is turning into a goon taking roughing penalties and throwing checks like he’s… well, Zack Kassian. The Edmonton Oilers’ Ryan Nugent-Hopkins is actually sidelined – missing the Oilers’ game last night against the Dallas Stars – due to an injury resulting from a Henrik Sedin hit. It’s a total head scratcher. If Henrik drops his gloves next, I may just lose my mind.
The Mysterious Coin
The Canucks announced that Cory Schneider will get the start against the Minnesota Wild. Sure, Roberto Luongo is on a hot streak, but this isn’t about what makes sense. This is about what the coin says. Coach Alain Vigneault once again flipped his coin, and this time it came up Cory.
I am honestly starting to believe that AV soaks his chewing gum in vodka. He’s enjoying this too much, especially considering the media, the fans, and Schneider’s agent are all taking the goalie controversy very seriously.
I want to see this coin. Is it a loonie? A twoonie? A quarter? Does it have pictures of Cory and Bobby Lu on either side? Where does AV keep this coin? Is it always in his pocket? Does he lock it away somewhere with his crystal ball, voodoo dolls and a pack of vodka-infused chewing gun? If the media doesn’t insist on filming a coin toss before the end of the season, they’re not doing their job.




