Feb 052014
 

The Canucks lost again. And they couldn’t score on the power play again. And they lost again.

But at least the new guy scored – Raphael Diaz’s first goal of the season – and played a relatively uneventful and team-high 25:26 minutes.

Silver linings?

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

Feb 042014
 

Just when you didn’t think the Canucks could play any worse, they put together a listless effort like last night’s against the Detroit Red Wings.

After some woeful losses over the last month, they should’ve been buoyed by coach John Tortorella’s return from his 15-day suspension or by captain Hank Sedin’s return from injury. Instead, they put up little fight, getting shut out 2-0 by the Wings, the third time they’ve been shut out in their last 11 games.

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

Feb 012014
 

4-9-2.

After losing 4-3 to the Winnipeg Jets last night, allowing Devin Setoguchi to score the game-winning goal with 3 minutes left in the third period, that’s the Canucks’ record in January.

4 wins. 11 losses.

And like cherry on top of the whipped cream on top of the fudge on this January crap cake, they also lost Henrik Sedin, Mike Santorelli, Kevin Bieksa and Chris Tanev to long-term injuries.

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

Jan 302014
 

Man, these losses seem to be getting more depressing by the day.

After taking a quick 2-0 lead on the Chicago Blackhawks, the Blackhawks scored 4 unanswered goals in a 7-minute span in the second period. The end result? Another loss – the Canucks’ 10th loss in January versus just 3 wins.

But hey, at least Tom Sestito scored again.

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

Jan 282014
 

After being out since October, Jordan Schroeder returned to the Canucks’ lineup last night and promptly made an impact. He scored his first 2 goals of the season – the Canucks’ only 2 goals of the night.

It’s too bad David Perron scored 3 goals himself, and the Canucks went on to drop a 4-2 decision to the Edmonton Oilers.

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

Jan 272014
 

The Canucks scored 5 goals last night. 8 if you count the ones they scored in their own net. But hey, at least the Canucks won, and in doing so, they extended their lead on the Phoenix Coyotes for the final playoff spot in the Western Conference to 5 points.

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

Jan 242014
 

8 goals in 7 games.

After losing 2-1 at home to the Nashville Predators last night, the Canucks have now scored just 8 goals in 7 games, and have lost 9 of their last 12 games.

Poooofftt is right.

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

Jan 222014
 

Sans Torts and sans Hank, the Canucks went into Edmonton last night and took on the Edmonton Oilers.

Despite not having their coach or their captain, the Canucks did okay. For starters, Kellan Lain played more than 2 seconds, and in fact, on his second shift if the game, scored his first career NHL goal. Roberto Luongo stopped 28 of 29 shots, and Zack Kassian scored the game-winner (and drove the Oilers players nuts all game). On the other hand, the Oilers offered little resistance, which, I suppose after a week like last week is a welcome change.

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

Jan 212014
 
John Tortorella tries to get into the Calgary Flames dressing room.

John Tortorella tries to get into the Calgary Flames dressing room.

On Monday, we found out the fate of Vancouver Canucks Head Coach John Tortorella for his attempt to enter the Calgary Flames dressing room last Saturday night.  The NHL suspended Tortorella for 15 days without pay.

While some Canucks fans commended Tortorella’s actions as loyal, passionate, and justified, the NHL didn’t agree, calling Tortorella’s actions “dangerous and an embarrassment to the League.”

Assistant coach Mike Sullivan will take over the reins for the next 15 days.  In the meantime, Tortorella is not permitted to have any interaction with the team prior to, during or after games..

I asked the Twitterverse what Tortorella should do during his suspension.  The replies came flooding in, expanding the expected top 10 list to a top 20 list.

Thus, we proudly present to you the Top 20 Things that Tortorella Should Accomplish in the Next 15 Days:   

20. Score 4 goals.  – submitted by @BuckFoston_

19. Think to himself “Phew! Now I have time to finish that afghan I’ve been knitting!”  – submitted by @b_cmack

18. Make friendship bracelets for Bob Hartley.  – submitted by @Dawn_Retel

17. Map out a route in the ducting from the Canucks room to the visitors room. Nobody will expect an aerial attack.  – submitted by @kylenryan

16a. Attend Flames games in seats behind the bench with posters.  – submitted by @DCanuckgurl

16b. Buy tickets behind the bench of every Flames game.  – submitted by @bmah03

16c. Attend every Flames game.  – submitted by @JamesLawnsocial

15. Go to the next Flames game dressed like this.  – submitted by @wbborg

Tortssword

14. Perfect his baking skills and make the team Fight Club-themed cupcakes.  – submitted by @forevercanuck

13. Wooooo saaaah!  – submitted by @emilsirakov

12a. Yoga.  – submitted by @elmeebaterina

12b. Practice yoga to find inner peace.  – submitted by @DXenophontos

11. Sweep Aquilini’s driveway.  – submitted by @Mikem84

10. Do Cabo San Lucas round trip for $500 or so.  – submitted by @THogg21

9a. Plan the BEST Super Bowl party.  – submitted by @sedinitronic

9b. Go out and buy a stash of Marijuana for the Super Bowl.  – submitted by @DRushton11

8. Walk around downtown like the Fonz signing autographs and taking pictures with all the happy fans.  – submitted by @madhipcheckz

Ayyyy

Ayyyy

7. Anger management appointments.  – submitted by @number_1_dunner

6. Hunt Hartley. He can bring Booth with him.  – submitted by @kesrows

5a. Hang out at the Saddledome by the Calgary locker room with a tent until Hartley mans up.  – submitted by @funkmaster_dunc

5b. Get some ninja skills so he can get into the Flames area with stealth.  – submitted by @hawknut888

5c. Booby trap the Flames locker room in Calgary.  – submitted by @paulalmeida22

4. Sew a Bob Hartley voodoo doll.  – submitted by @river975mike

3. Finally catch up with The Walking Dead.  – submitted by @lizzmoffat

2. Go on vacation with his buddy Larry Brooks.  – submitted by @cpjohnson88

1. Start a @ChickenShitBobHartley parody account.  – submitted by @JustinTillyer

 

Bonus:  Make a guest appearance on one of your songs.  – submitted by @Rozzy80

Can you imagine if we got Torts to sing about Torts?

 

 

Jan 192014
 

Some of you thought the game was entertaining. Some of you thought the sideshows that happened were classless and disrespectful. Whatever it was, the Canucks beat the Calgary Flames, and snapped a 3-game losing streak.

We’ll take it.

Read more #TGATT goodness past the jump.

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