I don’t hold with them new-fangled statistics like plus/minus or Corsi ratings. Why should numbers be privileged over letters? A player’s name is the best way of revealing his essence — short of cutting him open, of course.
Rearranging the letters of a few Canucks’ names can reveal truth you’ll never find in a spreadsheet. Meditate on these anagrams.
Daniel Sedin: Linden’s idea
“Good thinking, Trevor. So, to recap, I’ll send you to the Islanders for Brian McCabe, whom my succesor will trade to get the other Sedin twin.”
Henrik Sedin: Heed in rinks!
Outside the arena, you can safely ignore him.
Alex Burrows: Walrus Boxer
Before making it big with the ECHL Greenville Grrrowl, Burrows was a proud Walrus Boxer.
Mason Raymond: Damn, ya morons!
“I was wide open in the slot. Didn’t you hear me screaming?”
Mikael Samuelsson: A muskmelons aisle?
“Sorry, sir. We may have some in the back, but I doubt it. What country did you say you were from?”
Tanner Glass: Agent snarls
“I’ll see you in hell, Gillis.”
Dan Hamhuis: Ahah, nudism!
I know he looks innocent, but the anagram never lies.
Keith Ballard: I’ll bark death!
“Calm down, Keith. What I really need from you is a little bite.”
Sami Salo: Am I a loss?
“Kleenex? Well, not completely, no. Your injuries did help the cap situation this season. ”
Alexander Edler: Darn, Lee relaxed.
A jealous Edler was hoping Sweatt would collapse in terror during his first game.
Andrew Alberts: Bartender’s Law.
Free drinks on the house whenever Alberts scores.
Cory Schneider: She cried. Corny.
Desperate to fit in, the rookie goaltender mocks chick flicks.
Roberto Luongo: Retool our bong.
Clearly, he’s adapted very well to the West Coast.